Yes, potty training sucks; but winning it is such a grandiose feeling

No. Not yet. I haven't got that 100% grandiose feeling, only partial.

I have been training my toddler since she was only 20 months old. It was messy and stressful (you can see the journey on my instagram's hashtag #iolapottytraining); and to be honest I forgot my reasons on why I chose to start it that early.

I was nervous since day 1, and I had my reasons. It was urine all day long everyday and p*op at least once a day. Patience was the only thing I had left, and it decreased down in hours time (I'm not kidding). There was time when I just wanted to end it all and went on with disposable diapers, ditching off the expensive stack of knickers and training pants. I was so tired wiping the floor eight times a day, washing her bottom every 30 mins, and changing her knickers. I was so tired on holding my feeling (anger, anxious, disappointed, etc.), every time I woke up in the morning worrying what would happen that day.

But then, we came back on track, I remembered once again my initial goal - to be diaper free when she turns two! Breathed in and out every time I see drippings from her pants and urine puddle on the floor; then gradually she became pants-less and moved around the house only wearing knickers, while during nap time she wore training pants and I put a towel under her bottom. Every hour, I brought her to the toilet and she peed. Whenever I saw her in silence (it's #2 alert!),  I ran to the toilet like I'm the one who needs to go to the toilet. For weeks, we held on and we breathed in-out a lot of time everyday.

Until one day, she asked me to go to the toilet because she needed to do #2. A trumpet sound from heaven was played in my ears, I almost cried! And one day, she earned her first sticker for completing a day without accident! Since that day, I continued her potty training and she earned more stickers (I have the potty-journal). I bought her a potty training book and she always read that book during potty-time, it was like her comfort-book in the toilet - well, whatever makes it works!

It went well and smooth. Until the moment when we need to move out from the house and started our nomad life - a month of traveling; moving houses, being on the road, and lots of hours walking around the city - before going back to Indonesia. All the efforts needed to stop, because we can't find toilet every hour or so, we can't wash dirty clothes everyday and we can't afford buying dozen of pants for her - potty training needs pants! So, we stopped. Thankfully, her #2 alert still works and we were able to bring her to toilet whenever she need to do the business.

Six months later, which is today, we are still doing potty-training and obviously I don't fulfil my goal. I'm not too uptight anymore, I learn to have a peace with my own self and I learn to trust my kid. At home, I put on her training pants and of course she still pees on pants - and that's okay. She gives us notification after she pees - and that's okay - so that we could wash her. And I keep telling her to let us know before peeing, so that she can pee in the toilet instead of on her pants.

I am taking the positives, I win 50% because she has notification alert for p*oping need. Another 50%, I give her time. It's just a matter of time, she just need more time and I trust her.

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