on setting rules for parents

on my previous post, i mentioned a little bit on how iola behaved during her mealtime. mostly because she had missed her highchair for a month or so; she became "lost" during mealtime. she forgot the rule of sitting during meal and kept wandering around like a lost kid. i was stressed and hating the situation, blaming myself on not being able to be a strict mother to control my kid. but, hey.. it was the situation, not me.. not us.

i was learning to lower my expectation. 
to have our own standard is good, but expecting our kids to follow it without having a struggle, is almost impossible. in iola's case, she was just getting used to have her meal without sitting and she thought that it's a normal thing; she had fun doing it and she might love it. but in parents' point of view, being seated during mealtime is necessary and normal; and it's parents' duty to pass the knowledge to their kids (which i did from the beginning).

she would cried after a minute or two after being seated on her chair (often, followed by screaming). yos and i then took her out from her chair and let her wander around while we were handing her food to be eaten. it happened for weeks, because we were so lost following her behavior and it was the only way that she would eat her meal. she didn't settle by sitting on her chair and she barely eat anything.

it took us two days to re-teach her to sit calmly on her chair, to re-teach her that sitting during meal is a normal thing that everyone does it. two days, that's it. i was amazed by both the process and the result.
if you are wondering how, here's how : i didn't give her food, unless she's sitting properly.
as simple as that.

happily eating her breakfast
forget your weak heart, just stick to the plan. when iola started to cry and scream, i took her food and took her out from her chair, i let her walk around without food on her hand. then, when she asked for food, i put her again on her chair and let her eat. it continued for several times in one mealtime, then at one point, she started to understand the rules we set.
then by the third day, she was calm when we placed her on her chair and she ate calmly!
now, even if she's not on her highchair, if i handed food to her, i would suggest to her that it's better to sit when eating. she follows my rules, she would walk to the sofa voluntarily and climb to sit on it, then eats her snacks calmly.  (yay!)

snack time in church
apparently, the two days rules applies to everything (i.e.: for not screaming, for setting nursing ritual, for not throwing things, etc.). although, i haven't succeeded yet with the sleeping rules :( but, hey, one step at a time, rite?

mother on! father on! parents on! :)


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