a hello (and the story behind).

she's finally here.
40 weeks and two days; and she's here. and she's perfect.

the birth story of her, maybe, isn't that amazing for most of the moms; but it was my first experience and it was magical. i still can't believe that i could force my limitation and went through it well.

on my 40 weeks and 2 days of pregnancy, my gynae had planned to induce me, as i passed my due date and the baby was getting bigger. i was in doubt, but eventually we followed her suggestion and we did came to hospital in the morning to do the procedures.

started the process at about 8 am in the morning, enema was being inserted and they induced me using the tablet, i wasn't allowed to wake up from the bed to let the tablet stay inside my body. the nurse observed me every hour, to check the fetal heart rate and my contraction progress. she kept asking me about my pain scale and made sure what kind of painkiller i chose; epidural, laughing gas, injection, or screaming (she was joking). i rejected all the options, as the pain was bearable.

around 12.30 pm, they let me have a light lunch and also to walk around the hospital floor. i walked for one lap, then went back to the bed, doing the squatting thingy - which i believe would help the cervix dilatation. the contraction surely was getting stronger and more painful (in the scale 0-10, the pain was 5).

at 3 pm, i was 5-6cm dilated. they said i was progressing well, the nurse called my gynae and brought me to the labor ward, the pain scale was 6-7 and it was getting stronger. i held yos' hand even harder and surprisingly, i was still able to smile to the nurses who came in and out into the labor ward. they offered me laughing gas to help me coping with the pain, and but i thought it would be useless, so once again, i refused the gas. the nurses were joking with me, and kept mentioning about the screaming-painkiller; but on that pain scale, i haven't scream at all.

at 5.30 pm, my gynae came and checked my progress, i was 8cm dilated. she broke my water as that's the only thing that keeping the baby to push down to the birth canal. she warned me that after the water broke, the pain will be much much stronger. it really was and finally i scream due to the pain. half crying i squeezed yos' hands hard, hoping that he could help me to ease the pain. yos kept saying to concentrate on the breathing, not the pain.. and somehow it really works.. when the pain scale was 8 and above, i tried so hard to picture mount bromo in my head, that's the only peaceful thing that i could think of to distract me from the pain.

6pm, two nurses came into the ward and prep me to push. they said i was ready to push and whenever i feel the urge to push, i should push. i actually clueless about the feeling to push, it's nothing like the feeling when you need to poo, although almost everyone says it's similar (it is not!). so for the first push, the nurse signaled me, i tried to push.. and completely failed because i push using the wrong muscles.

6.10pm, my gynae came into the ward and instructed me to start pushing correctly. i did 3 sessions of push, each session was 3 hard pushes. each push was an out-of-breathe moment, all i could think of was pushing until it was only blank black image in my head. the pain of pushing was not really painful, compare to the contraction, it was the unability to breathe freely that bothers me. on the last session of pushing, nurses helped me to push the baby from my belly down to the birth canal. without me knowing it, they took the baby out and put my perfect warm healthy baby on my chest! it was 6.40pm and she was there in my arms. she marked a hello to the world with her big eyes and chubby cheeks. thank you mighty God.
a hello

a pair of tiny little feet

my september troops

peaceful morning

tiny little hand

her crying face

for the past 40 weeks, i worried about the unbearable pain, about the unseen possibilities of labor (such as emergency c-sect), about the technical issues on the due date, about the bills, and about everything.. but, in the end, all went really well. i still can't believe it. He listened to our prayers, He answered it with the most amazing way. that night, i cried for the solid 10 minutes, giving thanks for His kindness and guidance.

He is amazing, that He sent iola to us.


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