Again. The confusion makes me drowning, like a newbie swimmer who try to prove to her daddy that she can swim in the ocean. She's drowning. And also panic because of the waves, panic because of the darkness inside the sea, panic because of the unknown creatures inside the water, panic because she can't find the ground to be stepped on. I'm a newbie swimmer, a lousy one.
In the middle of the ocean isn't a good condition, it's scary. My life is to be gambled, either I just keep swimming to my destination, or I let go my soul and drown, or I change my way and come back to the land before I swim too far from it.
I feel like I have no one to hold on to. I need to talk, the very long talks, with the very same language, the same aims, and the same feeling. I don't need laughters or dreams, I only need talk, when we could say anything in our heads.. and we just understand what we say. Or even when we don't say anything, we understand each other. Exactly.
Switchfoot says, Life begins at the intersection.
Well, I have many intersections now.. And I'm doubting whether I will begin my life soon.. or I'm just stuck here.