| i feel good for this friday - 231009 |

22 october 2009

last night, my mom called me as usual, i call it 'a-twice-or-three times-a week-phone-call-routine'. the conversation went as usual, she asked me "have you had your dinner?", "are you going to sleep already?", "do you feel tired after working?", etc.
only one thing was unusual, she reminded me that the day after yesterday (which is today) is my dad's birthday.. errr, actually i remembered about everyone's birthday in my family since we're only four and i'd celebrated it the whole my life. then, she said one thing i almost forgot, "kak, tomorrow is dad's birthday.. and a week after that, dad will be retired." ooopppsssss.. it would be the day that we always talked about when we gathered, since i was a child. retired day! it is coming. oh my God! actually, nothing should be worried, hmmm, should be nothing at all. but, my mom said, "dad wishes you and your brother to settle your job first, since he will not be a working-man a week later."
and that sentence successfully made me had a sleepless night! what should i do? should i stay here forever? shouldn't i reach my passion, instead of doing something i don't like?
and until this point, i clearly understand : one single thing that matter in this world is.. money.
and me, screaming alone in an empty room : "why? why money???" and nobody cares.

23 october 2009.
55th birthday in his life. i'm wishing you a long-long-long-life.. :)
actually, with a disturbedful-thought from last night, i don't feel really well on this birth-day of my father.
i got so disturbed and couldn't think further for my future. my mind kept telling me that i have to stay here, for money sake! i am so cheap!!! (*sigh) why was it so urgent? because i have to submit my resignation letter by the end of this month, that's my deadline.. i have a week left and it is very urgent, thinking time should be over by this week.. -_-"
i sent a message to my brother, ask him to apply to some companies in singapore, since he was interested to work here. i can't do anything except encourage him to try and apply as many as he can. i wish he can find a job as soon as possible, which can make my parents not too worry about their children.. argh, my head was full of future-problems.
suddenly, a message came to my email, from my former lecturer. i did asked him to be my reference since i was going to apply for a volunteering-job, a job that bothered my mind for months. i do know that there will not be much money, or even there will be no money there, but i can't deny my heart.. my heart tells me to try. and the thought bothered me more when i read an inspiring book by greg mortenson, three cups of tea! (you should read it!)
my former lecturer wrote in his email to me, "i'm always available to help anything for 2003", and he also gave me his full name and email as needed to fill the application form.
can't you see that this is where life bring me to?
i'm no money oriented person. i will do anything to please my mom and dad.. but, can i just please them with my own way? not with the richness that i could achieve, but with something diferrent that maybe they never thought about it.
suddenly, i feel good for this friday.
i pray (hardly) that this would be the rightest decision i have ever made.
..and honestly, i am afraid!

..above all,
happy birthday, pah!


Anonymous said…
same problem encounters most of us i think.
i read that actually not everyone wants to be rich, they just want to be able to spend money without worry.

working is something to fulfill your basic needs as human being, that's way they called it earn a living, not earn the money :p
novel. said…
"working is something to fulfill your basic needs as human being, that's way they called it earn a living, not earn the money"

i do like your words!

the main idea of earn money is feel enough and not ask for more.. then we'll be happy-human being.

have a nice life.. :)
dai said…
hmm.. that adds your 'terombang-ambing' thingies, for sure? hehe.

*tetap terombang-ambing*
novel. said…
iya dai! bnget nget nget nget.

arghhhhhh! :(
novel. said…
This comment has been removed by the author.

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